There is a stream of consciousness flowing within each of us that never ceases, nor diminishes throughout our years as self-aware sentient creatures. In our everyday awareness, we can be consciously connected to this stream to the degree that we seek it out, and as we attend to the matter of nourishing the path which connects us to it. There are many different ways we can detect the stream, and they are limited only by our willingness to be open to them. For some of us, it is simply a matter of persistent effort. For others of us, it may be a struggle to first sift through an avalanche of chaos, before settling into a place where we can discern the flow routinely.
In my early life, it was a constant struggle emotionally and psychologically, to feel the pull toward the flow so strongly, but to be so severely limited in gaining insights; forced to adhere to a strict religious regimen with regard to spiritual matters, every effort to veer away from the established course was thoroughly and effectively suppressed. Once I began my life as an independent person, safely beyond the grasp of my upbringing, the powerful rush of the internal flow burst forth from within me like a volcano. Unprepared for the intensity of its streaming energies, I submitted to it only haltingly at first, stumbling as I attempted to remain with one foot in the past, and the other in the stream.
Intense fear of the unknown nature of my experiences at that time were contrasted by the tremendous excitement I felt at the revelations they contained. While I understood little of what it meant to be connected to this mysterious flow, I sensed immediately that there was a profound nature within it, and was enthralled by my sudden awareness of an expanded potential within me. These many years later, I am finally coming to not only acknowledge my lifelong connection to a universal flow of consciousness, but can now proceed deliberately and willingly towards it.
Even in spite of this advantage I don’t, at every moment, know exactly where I am going or how it is that I feel what is within me now. The moorings seem to have broken loose and I feel often as though I am drifting without direction in an uncertain world. I cannot reconcile my longings with any rationale, nor can I say with certainty that I will find my way. The light in the afternoon sky grows dimmer as I seek shelter. In the distance, the rumblings of a storm can be heard. It may pass or it may strike with full force, I cannot say which. Even so, there are aspects to the uncertainty which can be quite appealing too. Within the discomfort of “not-knowing,” is also the promise of change, however disadvantageous in the immediate sense, and the long term consequences are never completely known.
Breaking loose from the restrictions and suppression of my early life, I stumbled at first, and made errors so glaring now in retrospect, even I have to shake my head at myself. These past few years have been stable enough to gain a bearing of sorts, and having attained some stability, I can at least be said to be considering these ideas from a vantage point. The tumultuous years of my youth, not entirely ill-spent, have not produced the precise figure of my youthful visions. The disparate pieces of my life have not combined as yet to form a complete character that I can identify unambiguously as myself. In retrospect, the course I followed satisfied the obligations I had incurred, and in so doing, performed a necessary function that prevented me from falling off the cliff of self-destruction. It may well have been a necessary adaptation for my survival.
Carl Jung once wrote:
“We do not know how far the process of coming to consciousness can extend or where it will lead. It is a new element in the story of creation and there are no parallels we can look to (nor can we) know what potentialities are inherent in it. If we assume that there is anything at all beyond our sense perception, then we can speak of psychic elements whose existence is only indirectly accessible to us.”
The proliferation over recorded time of the various intellectual and spiritual movements is representative of the entire spectrum of inner human life. As a direct result of these movements, complex social and environmental changes have occurred. Unless all such activity ceases, it seems likely that our species will continue to progress along these lines, transforming our present level of understanding and consciousness to levels never before imagined.
John's Consciousness 