Finding A Way Through

I’ve been very much preoccupied these past few weeks by a series of events that unfortunately included the loss of someone who has been very dear to me for almost fifty years.  His name was Dave and we met many years ago while serving in the military, eventually getting an apartment together in what used to be called, “West Germany,” during the cold war days in the mid-nineteen seventies.  We gradually became close friends and spent the better part of a year sharing time as roommates, as well as fellow soldiers in the city of Kaiserslautern. After we had both returned to the United States, Dave came to see me at my parent’s home in New Jersey, where he met my sister, Mary, who would eventually agree to marry him and start a family.

During the years that followed, we became even closer, and with the arrival of their three children, and my eventual accumulation of six children of my own, we enjoyed many years as “brothers-in-arms” as parents and in-laws. Dave eventually made a living as a ventriloquist/teacher of young people in schools all across the northeastern United States.

When he wasn’t performing in the schools, he would occasionally have performances in public venues, and even appeared in an interview on a Philadelphia television station with local celebrity, Trudy Haynes…

Visiting him in the hospital over the holidays was a mixed blessing in some ways.  We were able to enjoy reminiscing and teased each other as we did many times over the years, but it was clear that as time progressed that his predicament was only getting worse health-wise. 

He left this life on his own terms, as far as it was possible, and even the doctors, nurses, and healthcare people became attached to him over the many weeks of treatments and tests.  He was a character right up to the end, and we will miss his presence among us greatly.

I had recently begun a video presentation about how the winter season should remind us of the cycle of life, not expecting that it would hit home quite so profoundly before posting it.  Life often turns one way or another without consideration of where we happen to be in our personal lives, but at the memorial service last week, I had the privilege of giving the eulogy for my dear friend and brother, and spoke of the significance of life for each of us:

“Upon the arrival of each dawn of a new day, we are all given the opportunity to recognize that even though we share life with every living thing—our human lives—our minds, our bodies, our spirits—are all connected by our nature as humans—it’s our common humanity.  Just as we celebrate life, in all its many manifestations of joy and triumph, so too, must we acknowledge that we may, at some point, share in some portion of the sadness and trials that accompany every life.”