I can feel you. I know you are there. I want you to be there. I think that’s the reason it keeps happening. At some point, we both reflect on those moments, and it brings us somehow together. Your face said everything. Just for a moment, it all came rushing back to you–all those moments–they all passed through your mind’s eye. Your body posture changed immediately. You opened to me. I wanted to run right at you and hold you close, but the moment was gone and you–you were brought back to the temporal–you were brought back to the moment in time and space, but before you turned and remembered where you were temporally, I had you completely–I had you completely–and I wanted you completely. For just a few seconds, everything stopped, and that place that only we inhabit burst open. Your face softened. Your shoulders relaxed. It was relief–you were relieved–just for that moment. I played right along in the temporal. I allowed a suspension of my inclinations and yours. Twice during the conversation in time and space, we leaned into each other. Your face immediately softened. You were close enough to hear my heartbeat.
After a few seconds you snapped out of it and returned to the space and time of the temporal world, and once more, I extended my hand. You came immediately in and again your face softened and you smiled. It was like you were looking right through me. It would have been a completely different experience had it been under different circumstances. I imagined how it might have gone, had we been alone. I would have pulled you in, surrounded you with my arms. My heart was flung open only for a few seconds, but if the circumstances were different, I would have opened up all the way.
I wouldn’t let you go. I’m so much taller, I always seem to be looking down at you, but your face, when it looks up to me, makes it feel like we’re the same height. Height becomes irrelevant. I know I would have put my hands on your face, and I believe your face would be grinning broadly. I would hesitate for just a second or two, and I would say, “I love you,” and I would kiss you deeply–passionately. I wouldn’t be able to stop myself. It wouldn’t have to be anymore. It would be alright. We’d be fine. I would look deeply in your eyes; I would sigh; I’d probably be giggling–a nervous laughter. I wouldn’t want you to be upset. I would want you to giggle too.
Even if it never happened again, I would know that moment and I would create a point of worship. I’d worship that moment–cling to it–always. So many times when you have been in my arms, and our faces have been very close, I have wanted to kiss you, but it was almost unnecessary because it seemed that your face registered my desire–you knew that I wanted to kiss you, and you smiled.
There must be a chance, even if its only once, to relive this imagining, to manifest it in the physical world, but even if it never happens it’s really already happened dozens of times, and each time you smiled, knowing. I don’t understand, but I accept–I accept you, just as you are. You see, the person to whom that face belongs–I love that person; the person who inhabits that body–I love that person; the soul that manifests as that person–I am one with that soul. We will never be apart–ever. We are forever one.
John's Consciousness 
John…..what an extremely beautiful and moving piece. Hauntingly so. I was deeply touched…
I’m glad you found a connection to these thoughts and imaginings, Anna. Part of the reason why I include these encounters with reverie and imagination is to give those who visit here a more tangible example of how consciousness encompasses so much more than brain function and sensory experience. When we allow our thoughts and emotions to open freely to whatever we are experiencing temporally, it opens up the opportunity to become aware of a level of connection to others that transcends the temporal.
When you describe my efforts as having “touched you deeply,” it infers a connection to this transcendent aspect, and when you describe the writing as “moving” and “hauntingly so,” you affirm the nature of our subjective experience as connecting to a much broader world that cannot be described solely in temporal terms. Using the descriptive term “beautiful,” confirms that my efforts to invoke this deeper transcendent aspect succeeded in alerting you to the presence of the beauty within you, more than within the piece itself.
Warm regards…John H.
Very lovely. Are you writing about someone real or is this a story meant to evoke a feeling?
The Christian
Kathleen,
This story is meant to evoke a feeling. The feeling is real and the circumstances I describe have inspired feelings that are genuinely mine, but as a reverie they are more specifically intended to illuminate something about the nature of subjective experience.
In the course of a lifetime, we occasionally encounter individuals in particular circumstances who stir important aspects of our personal subjective experience of the world, which are not dependent on temporal or physically objective criteria. Even if we never meet someone in person, our lives and our essential experience of the world can be altered by a connection which occurs simply because of the energies present within the two individuals.
As a writer and as someone who is especially sensitive to emotional and spiritual energies, it is possible to extend myself beyond the boundaries of conventional objective experience, and to project my own energies into the realm of possibility. The ordinary everyday experience of being is not where the limits end. In my view, we can extend our sentient nature into the realm of possibility, by allowing our human spirit to explore and contemplate whatever our hearts and minds can conjure. My experiences with other souls in this life have been proof enough for me that even feelings of genuine love and close personal connections are possible if we are open to the realm of possibility.
Your question suggests an agile mind and a profound interest in the human spirit. I hope you will continue to ask such questions and perhaps your curiosity and your own keen sensitivity will lead you to explore these ideas further.
I am delighted that you were thoughtful enough to comment and hope you will find additional offerings here which will pique your curiosity in the same way.
Warm regards…John H.
Thanks so much for your kind words. I look forward to reading more of your blog.
In this daily clutter of thoughtless words it is so refreshing to find something meaningful and worth reading. Thank you
Thank you so much for your attention to my postings and for your kind words.
It is my hope that the readers who visit here will find the entries containing both value and meaning for them. The subject of consciousness is fairly narrow in its emphasis generally, concerned as it is with our subjective experience of the temporal world, but I continuously endeavor to illuminate the subject from a broad range of directions. In this way, I hope to include as many areas of interest as I can and to appeal to a broader audience.
Your own website is quite unique and I enjoyed the January 12th posting on Schrödinger’s Cat.
I hope you will find other entries to pique your interest….John H.
Just reading what you wrote, dreaming and imagining that some one might have meant that for me, to know that’s how they really felt, would make me feel good. One day, that dream will find me and be real–a new start or a do over…
Jeremy,
I’m glad you understood that what I wrote was a description of a feeling–how it would feel to experience such an event–and that you were able to appreciate how such experiences are not only possible, but that imagining and dreaming about them can connect us to our humanity in a way that can be broadly experienced by us all. These bits and pieces of imaginings can be strung together in a myriad of ways to express ourselves through reverie. Hopefully, when we reflect on these feelings, we will be able to recognize another soul in the world who resonates with them, and be able to share these feelings in a positive and wholesome way.
Our subjective experience of consciousness is a rich resource for conjuring and constructing all sorts of reveries, and utilizing our imagination, insights, and daydreams can help us to achieve a more holistic view of our experiential awareness, rather than limiting its scope to simply and only the workings of our physiology.
Thanks for commenting…